Oh wow, this post. *deep breath* Okay.
I’ve been thinking about writing this for quite a while now. Been mulling it over, thinking about it, writing drafts, deleting drafts, trying to find the right way to say stuff, getting anxious, and setting it all aside and hoping it will all just… magically disappear or people will stop being dicks? I don’t know. But we are living in a time of an airborne, viral pandemic and people are subscribing to the most bizarre conspiracy theories about government control and mandated vaccines with tracking implants (and so much more, and even wilder, more harmful things), all somehow connected to being asked to wear masks in public spaces with other people. As someone who is high-risk and who has had to wear a mask for years and years for a variety of reasons, this is the most face-palm-worthy nonsense I have heard in a hot minute, and it makes my head spin and my brain hurt. So I obviously wanted to talk about it. But I honestly didn’t want to deal with getting yelled at by Q-Anon and right-wing nutjobs. I mean, there’s already so much good information out there that they’re blatantly ignoring, why would what I have to say be any different? But something happened recently that made me realize I really needed to talk about masks, but from a slightly different angle.

Ok, so to start with, here’s a very very very basic primer as to why masks are useful against Covid even though you can still breathe and smell through them and whatnot . Yes, the holes in the mask are bigger than the virus. But the Covid-19 virus travels on droplets, like from your breath (from your mouth and your nose, so cover both dingus), and can’t travel otherwise. So even though the virus itself is smaller than the openings in the the fabic or paper of your mask, it doesn’t matter. The droplets they’re traveling on are bigger than the holes, so it works to stop/slow transmission. But what about masks with a valve? They’re still good! They work as a baffle. They slow down/redirect the air flow away from the people around you, so you’re not spewing covid-filled droplets into their face. However, it’s a good idea to give space between you and others (just as a general rule, better safe than sorry!). Neck gaiters apparently aerosolize the droplets and actually make it all MORE transmissible due to the way the fabric stretches/the spandex/what have you, so perhaps don’t use those if you can help it. Masks DO NOT reduce your oxygen intake or suppress your immune system. That’s just a blatant lie spread to bolster an otherwise unsustainable point by tragically misinformed people (being super gracious here) to other people who don’t want to or know how to do research, who are so disenchanted with the world that they are willing to believe even the most ridiculous, ableist garbage. So, for fuck’s sake, wear a mask, please! And also give 6 feet of space to people not in your party, because if nothing else, personal space, baby! But also, any additional things we can do to help prevent disease transmission is golden (and so easy). Everyone thanks you (even if they don’t realize it yet), especially people like me, who are very, very vulnerable.

Okay! So now that we’ve covered the mandatory, super basic medical science of masks and covid, let’s talk about another aspect of masks. The thing that got me spun up enough to write this piece was actually something that happened on Facebook. Ugh, that fucking website, y’all. I swear. ANYHOW, here’s what happened:

Someone I have known for several years now, who I considered a friend, who works in the medical field, and who is at least fairly pro-mask in the time of Covid, posted a status about having seen someone riding a motorcycle with a mask on, and something to the effect of “lol what a dumbass.” Everyone in the comments chimed in, confirming what an ignorant, cowardly idiot that rider was. I scrolled for quite a while, finding nothing but cruel mockery. So I commented, noting that I myself ride a motorcycle and sometimes ride with my mask on (long before covid) because of chemical sensitivities or air quality: because of disability issues. So, there could be other things going on, and to please not judge. Someone else had commented something very cruel and had called them (the rider) an idiot, and I had responded that they (the commenter) looked very ignorant making this statement, and then repeated my previous comment about why one might use a mask for other-than-covid reasons, and reminded them/others that disability can look like a lot of things, hashtag gentle reminder. My friend, the OP, responded that my comment was “unnecessary and rude” and she blocked me. Her post was public, so I could still see the continuation of mockery and cruelty, and let me tell you, it hurt on a personal level.

Usually I try not to take shit on the internet personally. I mean, if I did I wouldn’t last very long! It’s a rough place. But to try to kindly remind people that disabled folks exist and to be called rude and unnecessary for it, and then be shunned, while the mockery continues? From a friend?! Er, a “friend” I guess… that one hits a little closer to the heart. It’s one thing for casual, accidental ableism to slip in. It’s a whole different animal for you (eh, me, a disabled person) to call it out nicely and still be told to fuck off, that no one cares about you or your “issues.” So while it did hurt, it made me realize that I need to talk about masks a lot more bluntly. So here we are.

Also, a reminder that there is SO MUCH ABLEISM in the medical field, and I’m not just talking about the bizarre inaccessibility in medical facilities.

We already talked about masks in relationship to covid above, so I’ll keep this short. WEAR YOUR DAMN MASK! Even if this is some sort of “hoax” (oh my god, don’t even get me started), the harm done by wearing a mask is none at all, versus the harm done if you are wrong, which is the death of many, many people, and the long-term harm of many others. Even some people you might know and love very dearly. Viruses don’t discriminate. The people arguing about the death toll numbers and so on are folks who have very little information and education about healthcare, immunology, research, the general concept of the scientific method, and so on. This is said as someone in the the healthcare field, someone who does medical research, data collection, and science communication as part of my PhD, and as a professional patient. I’m certainly not always right, but I think it’s fair to say that in this instance, I might know my shit. Also, if absolutely nothing else, not wearing your mask says “I AM THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD, I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE! AND I AM WILLING TO RISK KILLING YOU ALL TO PROVE IT!” whereas wearing your mask tells the world and those you encounter “I care about you, and I will protect you.” Be an “I care about you” person. You know, just as a general rule.

There are also so very many reasons people might wear a mask outside of covid, it’s ridiculous! The reason you don’t usually see it (in the US, at least) is partly because it’s not a cultural thing to wear one when you’re sick (like in Asian countries), which honestly I think is a shame. I suspect it ties back into our big strong American cowboy mentality of not wanting to show weakness or some other toxic bullshit, but that’s just my theory. But you also didn’t see people wearing masks every day pre-covid because it’s so werid and stigmatized. You should see the bizarre looks I get when I wear mine! You’d think I was carrying live vials of smallpox or was wearing a shirt with a big ol’ swastika on it (though actually, that seems to go over pretty well here in the States these days). But there are many reasons people wear them, other than covid or on job sites: poor air quality, allergies, asthma, multiple chemical sensitives, immunocompromisation, cold air, being sick themselves, and so on. Masks are an aid, just like a cane or a wheelchair. Sure, my VogMask doesn’t help me walk like my cane does, but it does help me interact with the world in a more normal, equal way, just like my cane or my wheelchair does. And yes, believe it or not, sometimes I wear it when I’m on my motorcycle! And it’s not because I’m afraid I’m gonna catch covid at a stoplight. On days my sensitivity is really heightened but I still wanna ride, I pop it on and it helps filter out dust, pollen, cold, exhaust from other vehicles, and general pollution in the air. I wear it when I go to malls/shops where they have candles/other fragranced items because the chemical fragrances trigger horrible migraines. I wear it when I’m cleaning, because of dust, pollen, and mold allergies. I wear it when I travel on busses, trains, or airplanes because my immune system isn’t great and people, for whatever unknowable reason, often travel on mass transit while sick, and if I get sick with even just a common flu it can land me in the hospital! So I wear my mask. My mask, like my wheelchair, is freedom.

It’s been so bizarre suddenly seeing the whole world looking like me , having to act like me, protecting themselves like I’ve had to for years and years (in the smallest, least-obtrusive way possible), but WHIING about it soooooo much! “Omg, mah constitution! Mah rights! Whatchu mean I gotta think about other people? I’m an American, damnit!” Acting like the goddamn world was ending and the worst thing ever happened to them! As if it would be better to die and let everyone else die as well than to have to do this small thing that is so normal for so many disabled people. Let me tell you, it was a surreal and honestly kind of dehumanizing experience for me. But also, at the same time, it’s very normal for disabled folx. It’s not uncommon for people to tell us that they would rather die than end up like us, or that some person would have been “better off dead than [paralyzed, blinded, deaf, etc etc etc].” Disability has been set up as this HORRIBLE thing in our society, to the point that merely having to wear a fucking mask, only when in public, has spurred conspiracy theories and people trying to weasel their way out of and around the death tolls, claiming that it’s all okay somehow because “it wasn’t covid, it was other conditions that were EXACERBATED by covid!” Ah, okay… so it’s just the sick, the weak, the elderly, the disabled who are dying… cool, cool, you’re right, it’s totally okay then. *glares angerly in disabled*

I guess what I’m getting at here is that, not only is this whole mask thing a pretty basic, easy, and socially-responsible thing to do, it’s also an existing thing in the disability community. And the extent to which people are being asked to use their masks is still far, far less than how often I have to use mine, long before the pandemic. It’s been saddening to see the ableist way in which this simple act of basic decency has, instead, been turned into a bizarre form of ableism, even from people you love and thought cared for you, didn’t see you differently or look down on you because of your health and mobility. This isn’t some liberal snowflake-ness, some overly delicate person looking for things to be offended at. This is just me, a disabled person who listens intently to the people around them, being very transparent about how things feel right now. How it feels when your life is made out to be a burden. How it feels when something you do very simply to take care of yourself, to get to interact with the world, gets screamed about as an infringement of people’s rights, as unhealthy, as a thing only ignorant people “give in to.” It’s more of that subtle yet loud ableist disability narrative that you don’t really see until you you do, and once you see it you can never, ever un-see it.

So, I don’t know. Wear your masks, and stop spreading misinformation. And from experience I can tell you that if you really want to learn stuff, see how the world works, find out what makes things tick, you don’t need to dive deep into Reddit and the dark corners of the internet… just shut up and listen to others, especially to marginalized people. They’ve seen things in a way you hopefully never will have to, and are pleading for people to care, to listen, to understand. Whether that’s black folk begging to not be murdered, or women wanting basic goddamn respect, or disabled folks calling out everyday ableism, big and small, stop. Take a step back. Don’t try to justify or excuse anything, don’t try to “but not me though” the situation… just hush, and listen. It’s one of the best practices I ever undertook and I learned more by shutting my mouth and listening to others with different experiences than mine than I have from all my years of formal education combined. So… a suggestion… do that. Talk less, listen more, and don’t be ableist. And hey, I know it feels uncomfortable to get called out on your subtle ableisms, even if it’s done nicely. But the answer is not to get defensive and shun the person, but rather to pause, have some compassion, and understand that no matter how well intentioned your or your friend’s comment might have been, no matter how good of a person you or they might be, there’s always room to grow. So let’s all grow out of ableist nonsense, together.