It is once again a new year. For the Jewish folk amongst us it’s been a new year for a few months now, but I digress. We are now firmly standing in the year 2022, a year that, as a child, I’m sure would have sounded like something out of one of my science fiction books. But instead of flying cars and glowing rings on all manner of space-age clothing, I’m sitting in bed wearing baggy sweatpants and a soft gray cardigan, sipping a hot cup of black coffee, and watching the gray morning light rise over the Mystic River.
For readers who have stuck with me over the years, first of all, thank you. What a journey it has been! You also may have noticed that I’m not really a “New Years Resolution” sort of person. I find that setting some big, new, life changing goal isn’t the best way for me to actually affect change in my life. Studies suggest that it might not be the best way for many people, either, as something like 40% of resolutions are broken before the end of January. I think it’s not because setting goals and trying to do better is a bad plan, but because we bite off more than we can chew, we dream really big, choose un-sustainable goals, and then naturally and understandably burn out. And as someone with so few spoons, so little energy in the first place, I’m very prone to burn out. Also, we as humans tend to take a black and white view of things sometimes. Once that resolution is broken, once you’ve slipped up on your goals, oh well! Guess it’s broken. Back to business as usual. For me, and I’m not telling you what’s right for you here, only what works best for me, a broader framework to work within allows for fluidity and change as life also changes. I mean, yes, there are some concrete things I want to work on, to do better at, to improve, but as far as my “resolution,” I like the broadness, for it to have the flexibility to bend and move with my life.
for reference:
I’d like to write more this year
I’d like to get my new wheelchair & start strength training for a wheelie5k someday
I’d like to finish my dissertation
I’d like to learn a new skill
I’d like to cut down on my single-use plastic usage
I’d like to go on more adventures, big or small
So, I do usually set a theme for my year. Something that I want to focus on, to embody throughout the year and in every aspect of my life. Last year was boundaries (a theme I revisit often). The year before I focused on radical authenticity and self-acceptance. A few years prior was duality. And each of these year-long meditations have radically improved my life, helped me interact with the world, with others, and with myself in a more loving and honest way. I am very grateful for what I have learned, and what I have yet to learn.
I’ve been thinking for a few weeks now about what my theme for the year 2022 is going to be. I’ve been a bit torn in a few directions (what else is new?), and then also just tired and felt like “fuck it, 2022 is the year of napping and writing poetry.” And maybe it is the year of rest and self-care, to an extent. But after some self-reflection, some meditation, some walks along the beaches and forests where evidence of climate change is undeniable, after fighting with people who feel I & other disabled people don’t deserve access to public spaces (or to even be alive) and not even being able to get into my own local post office (or a thousand other places) in my wheelchair, after being misgendered everywhere I go, after 2 presidential cycles of one leader who was an unhinged egotistical maniac who was willing to destroy everything for his own benefit, and now a leader who is far better but is still failing miserably in many ways, in my estimation, after watching the way trans folx have been stomped and spit on, after watching how people of colour have suffered and died for literally no reason other than white supremacy, after watching people in my own community scream that others can just go die because masks are an infringment on FREEDOM or whatever bullshit… there is no theme I could honestly have other than “BURN IT DOWN.”
As I’ve discussed through my accessibility work where I have co-opted a phrase started by another disabled disability rights activist, “Make It Accessible or Burn It Down” this is not a literal call for arson, obviously. It is a call for making change, making actual progress, actual steps towards making things better & more accessible, otherwise we may as well burn it down. Because if a public place isn’t for the public as a whole (disabled people make up 20-25% of the public, by the way), then what you have isn’t inaccessibility, it’s discrimination, plain and simple. And as I’ve said through that work (which you’re welcome to follow on Instagram, Facebook, or Tik Tok, though I’m not the most regular poster as I’M SO FUCKING TIRED!), I’m not asking for perfection right out of the gate. I don’t think anyone is. But we are all asking for signs of forward movement. The ADA has been in place for over 30 years. Yeah, I know you can legally loophole your way out of updating your access, but bro… what are you doing? I’m not going to get into it all here, I have a whole video series about this. But suffice it to say, if you’re not working to make things better, if you’re not trying, putting forth an effort of some variety, then yeah, just burn it down. Just call it quits. And I’m not going to be quiet because it makes you uncomfortable, sorry not sorry.
And I think that same energy applies to all these other aspects of our chaotic world, too. I want to bring that same energy, that same “take no prisoners” attitude to climate change, to trans and queer rights, to BLM and otherwise supporting POC and indigenous people. I want Covid tests to be available to the people who need them, or I want to burn the fucking system to the ground and rebuild something that will actually take care of us! I want to actually hold the 100 companies who are responsible for over 71% of global emissions responsible and made to fix their shit AND the mess they’ve made instead of making individuals feel like they’re killing the earth because they used a plastic straw! I want to fucking fight the oil companies who have LIED about climate change data for decades! I want to make places of science and learning welcoming and safe for people of colour and queer folx AND DISABLED FOLX (who often can’t access labs or sometimes even classrooms) or I want to burn academia to the ground. I want artists and sex workers alike to be able to create work safely and have quality outlets for monetizing their creations where they receive the profits they deserve instead of taking a tiny cut or being expected to just work “for exposure.” I want cops held fully responsible for the harm they do. I want corporations entirely out of our political system. I want our money to go to education and healthcare and not to tools of violence. I wanna punch the NRA in the face!
I could go on for literally pages just listing the people I personally want to fight until they fix their shit, but here’s the thing. I’m not saying that being aggressive or violent is my goal, or is (always) how to get things done. I’m saying I want to embody that “We are going to change things or burn it all down trying, because the world doesn’t revolve around cis/het/white/abled/rich people, and I refuse to stop fighting for a world that cares for us all and a world that we all care for” vibe. That’s the energy I want to bring into 2022. I’m here to work with people. I’m kind, I’m loving, I’m grounded, I’m even pretty chill believe it or not. But I’m done taking peoples shit excuses for avoiding doing the right things. I’m tired as FUCK, and I know I cannot fight all these fights with all my might at the same time, but I’m ready to keep working hard to make things better, and I’m no longer accepting excuses and “they meant well”s instead of progress and change.
Here’s to 2022! Make it kind, make it inclusive, or burn it the fuck down!